Thursday, April 28, 2011

Advice to help Harper stem the Orange tide....

Jack Layton is cool, and Stephen Harper is...well, he's Stephen Harper. 

I'm fearful that if the Conservatives squeak out a narrow minority we might just see this headline in a couple of weeks: 

PM prorogues parliament permanently

How's that for alliteration?

Harper already suspended our democracy twice, its worked before it could work again.  In an effort to avoid that eventuality, and in the name of Canadian unity, I thought I'd put my political skills to the test in offering some advice to Dear Leader and his Conservative spin doctors.

Ten Suggestions to boost Harper's falling support:

10.  Start using a cane.

9.  Go get a prostrate exam.

8.  Grow a 'stache

7.  Promise to return the government to its rightful owners by switching back to Government of Canada from the Harper Government.

6.  Answer 5 questions instead of just 4 when on the'll show Canadians how flexible you are.

5.  If you're bald, be proud.

4.  Learn how to really smile, not the smug 'I know more than you' smirk. 

3.  Show you're human by saying sorry about blowing $2 million on the building of a fake lake.

2.  Before hitting your talking points say..."When I'm Prime Minister"' 

And finally, the number one suggestion for Harper to boost his falling support.....

Threaten to show up at a piano lounge near voters' homes if they don't elect the Conservative ccandidate. 

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