Thursday, May 19, 2011

Market research for a new religion

Having looked into various religions like Christianity, Judaism and Islam I've decided that the marketplace is in bad need of a new faith, but given our modern age I think some market research is in order first.  After all, new products and services almost always involve the taking of surveys and an examination of things like demographics so as to tweak offerings.  The goal is to maximize public appeal and obviously profits. 

I don't yet have all the details worked out, just a sort of sketch in my head.  The overhead view, from say 100 miles up, is of something along the lines of "The Force" of Star Wars fame.  Unfortunately it doesn't look like I'll be able to incorporate the word Jedi given that it is a trademark of Lucasfilm Ltd, so there goes the name '1st Galactic Jedi Church - Reformed'. 

It doesn't matter, I'm sure I can work around it.  Religions have been borrowing from one another for thousands of years after all.  I know I've got a lot of work ahead of me, and that other faiths won't take kindly to a new messiah on the block.  I'm already anticipating stiff competition from the entrenched faiths and can envision them re branding themselves to avoid losing customers.  I wouldn't be surprised to see: Improved Christianity, The New Islam, or even Judaism II The Sequel.

The core elements that I've worked out are:

-It will be monotheistic, one God or supreme being/entity.  When you put Christians, Jews and Muslims together you have over 3 billion people in total, so why mess with success. 

-Taxes will be paid.  Instead of seeking tax exempt status like older religions, this new faith will pay its share.  This is part of a marketing ploy, given these tough times I think people will gravitate toward an organization that doesn't seek to avoid paying taxes.

-I'm not actually looking to assume a Mosaic or Messianic role myself, I'd prefer to work behind the scenes.  Jesus, Mohammad, Gandhi...too many murders.

-I'm open to the idea of franchising, so long as I retain ultimate control. 

As to the market research I'm inviting readers to answer a few questions in the comment section.  The questions are:

1)  Would you be more inclined to worship/venerate a supreme being that is portrayed as male, female or non gender specific?

2)  Should contributions be required at 5% or 20% of gross income?  I've decided that the price of salvation/enlightenment will be monetary, but can't settle on the amount.  While 5% is certainly more affordable, I'm thinking that making it 20% might bring with it some snob know like, "Oh I don't go to one of those cheap faiths that only asks for 10% of my income, my religion costs 20%...but its worth it".  

3)  What would be the best day/time to gather?  Sundays are real busy now what with Sunday shopping and all.  What about maybe a Wednesday evening around 8pm?

4)  Should followers of other  faiths be condemned to hell?  I don't like idea personally, but I do think it could be an effective tool in bringing in converts.  What better to persuade people than to tell them that rejecting this new faith will lead to an eternity of misery.

Okay...that's the outline.  Don't feel constrained by the questions asked, use the comments function to chime in with any ideas you might have.

May my force be with me.

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