When I am elected Pope‏

With the Cardinals now in Conclave, (I thought St. Louis had their spring training in Florida) I figured it would be a good idea to outline the initiatives I will enact when I become Pope. Yes, I know I'm not Roman Catholic and my election will represent something of a miracle. But then aren't miracles what churches are supposed to be about?

Rome needs someone to lead, well Gordie is the man you need representing God. I will help the Vatican deal with many of the thorny issues it is now confronting.

Sexual abuse
Under my Papacy all those who bring forward allegations of abuse against RC priests will receive financial compensation. In fact I will take whatever amount is asked for and triple it. Some might scoff and claim this initiative will lead to bogus claims of abuse, and it probably will. But there was this guy a few years back who said something about giving to everyone who asks and to walk three miles when asked to go one. I think his name was Jesus. Will this bankrupt the church? Quite likely, and that brings me to the second plank in my Papal platform.

Cleaning up corruption
As everyone knows, money is always at the root of corruption scandals, even in churches. Get rid of the money and there's no incentive to engage in nefarious scheming. Emptying the coffers and selling off buildings, real estate, relics and anything else of value to compensate for priests who sexually abused children will mean there is precious little do ré mi left.

Homosexuality
Back when the Bible was being written a prohibition on homosexuality made sense. God's directive back in ancient times was to be fruitful and multiply, which is hard to do for a species such as ours if those being fruitful are doing it in a, errr...fruity way. Now however there is no such imperative, and let's face it, in the animal kingdom God created, homosexuality is rampant. Even with Pitt Bulls: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/gay-pitbull-saved-death-article-1.1252264.

God is supposed to be forgiving, and all those priests tossed in jail for molesting boys shouldn't have their punishment compounded by having certain leisure time activities behind bars labelled as sinful. And if a prison romance turns serious, shucks, I'll let 'em get married.

Birth Control
As noted previously, the be fruitful and multiply directive came out when the Earth's population numbered just two, Adam and Eve. Under my leadership the Holy See will declare 'Mission Accomplished' on this whole multiplying idea. At seven billion or so I think we've overachieved on God's plan, so condoms and birth control pills for all. Sorry but I don't know how to pilot a fighter jet, so I won't be able to do the GW Bush thing and land on an aircraft carrier to make this announcement. Instead well hang a vertical 'Mission Accomplished' banner from the obelisk in St. Peter's square, a fitting gesture given that its a phallic symbol after all.

So there ya have it boys, the new and improved Roman Catholic Church as led by Pope Gordie. I'll resign once the church is broke, provided you agree to replace me with a woman.

Shouldn't take more than a year or two.

Jodie Foster facing lawsuit for Honey Boo Boo remarks?

Unconfirmed, unsubstantiated and fabricated rumours eminating from this source are indicating a lawsuit by the handlers of reality TV star Honey Boo may be launched against Jodie Foster in the wake of her acceptance speech at the Golden Globe Awards Monday night.

In accepting the Cecil B. Demille award Foster said in part:

''You know, you guys might be surprised, but I am not Honey Boo Boo Child. No, I'm sorry, that's just not me. It never was and it never will be. Please don't cry because my reality show would be so boring. I would have to make out with Marion Cotillard or I'd have to spank Daniel Craig's bottom just to stay on the air. It's not bad work if you can get it, though."

Concocted members of the Honey Boo Boo camp are said to be up in arms and furious over the use of reality TV star Alana Thompson's nickname.

''Where does this Foster woman get off using Honey's name in her speech? Yer dang right Jodie Foster ain't no Honey Boo Boo. Jodie don't have half of Boo Boo's talent and those things about making out with another woman and spanking some guy, well that's just plain rude and if she's gonna dis Honey like that there, then she better watch her back...and her wallet.''

Further unconfirmed, unsubstantiated and fabrictated rumours have Foster's people considering an offer of pork rinds to mollify the Boo Boo camp.

My first summer living in Québec City

This will be my first summer residing in Québec, and soon my kids will be here for ten days.  I can't wait.

I've visited beautiful Québec City often, five times alone for winter carnival, but this will be my first summer actually living here and I plan on being very busy.  I've bought a bike and already I've made good use of the path that winds its way all the down from the Laurentians north of the city, right to the downtown.  I'm lucky in that I live less than 10 kms from work, so whether driving or biking it takes me just 20 minutes, I prefer to cycle.

So far my plans for the summer include a day at Valcartier Vacation Village, a water park with enough slides that if they were placed end to end, they would reach PEI.  Actually I don't think there are that many slides, and they're not that long, but that's what I've been telling the kids.

Of course we'll be going downtown, to the old city and to the Citadel, to soak up some history.  Québec is North America's only entirely walled city, and the Citadel is an old fort built and fortified by the British after their conquest of New France.

There will be horse back riding, going tree to tree up near my place where you zip line and cross miles of bridges with your feet never touching the ground, Mount Morency Falls and some hiking through the small canyons.  I don't know if ten days will be enough.  Sainte Anne de Beaupré, Orleans Island, Lévis, a day at the ball park watching the Québec City Capitals of the independent Can-Am league, we might even get to see José Canseco who plays in the Can-Am because there's no drug testing.  

If it rains there's a shopping mall with an amusement park inside which includes a roller coaster, or perhaps a day at the aquarium to see some sharks.

Have I mentioned I can't wait?  

I'll be leaving the GTA with Big brother basketball star and the Princess Raspberry early in July.  They're both in French Immersion which means they'll be getting the chance to put what they've learned in school to practical use.  Should I be worried that they'll read my blog and that they won't be surprised?   Nah, like most people they never read Canadian Soapbox.  

Who knows though, after this summer they might start.

Bon été tout le monde!!!

Cup size confusion in Canada

Sorry guys, I'm not writing about A, B, C or DD...this is about Tim Hortons and the new sizes for their coffee cups. 

If you're a Timmies customer you've probably already found out that your large or medium coffee is bigger than it was before.  I'm in Kingston where they've been test marketing this change for the past few months, and now its been rolled out Canada wide. 

Tims has added a new bigger cup, and rather than calling it something appropriate like the bladder buster, they've changed the names of all their cup sizes.

The old small is now extra small, the medium is now small, the large is now medium, extra large is now just large and the bladder buster is the new extra large.

Confused yet? 

Like seriously, do you think anyone wants a couple of 'extra small' DDs?  Some might like small, but extra small?  Prices haven't changed, but you just know people who used to order the old mediums are now going to be buying the old large size until they get used to saying small....But who wants to order small, go big or go home. 

Any thoughts?

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Drinks, the donut shop and the fight

For reasons I will explain at a later time, I am in something of a reflective mood of late.  A comment on a recent post about the virtues of Canada's 10th province, Newfoundland, got me to thinking about an experience I had with a 'Newfie' some twenty years back.

A long time ago, when I was around twenty years of age, I got the tar kicked out of me.  It was the last fight I ever engaged in.  Yes, the individual whose clothes I dirtied with my blood, he was a Newfie.

I was out with a young woman named Annie, I wouldn't say we were dating though, we were out drinking.  Actually, drinking would be understating it, we were getting smashed, sloggered, sloshed.  Annie was a native Australian, and she had boasted that she could drink me under the table.  Being a proud Canadian I had to take up the challenge, so we headed to a local watering hole. 

Who won? 

Neither of us ended up under the table, so I'll call it a draw.  But given that I am the one telling this tale, and given equally that everyone likes to be the hero of their own narratives, I will include this.  I was mixing  between beer, rye, rhum and vodka, while Annie stuck with beer.  So maybe I did win.

After the bar closed Annie and I headed to a coffee shop close by.  Nothing unusual, two drunks sipping coffee and acting stupid.  And we weren't the only ones either, Frank was there too, the Newfie in this story.  I knew Frankie, he'd been a neighbour of mine years before, and we'd never had any problems, but then we'd never been in the same place at the same time, both pissed to the gills, with an attractive young woman present.

Frankie, oblivious to my presence, aside from a cursory greeting, took to flirting with Annie.  I tend to avoid confrontation as a rule, so I simply asked Frank to leave us alone...saying something banal like: "Frank, do you mind"?

It actually worked, Frank moved back to his booth, but being likely as drunk as we were, he came back again and again to flirt with Annie.  Finally realizing that polite requests to leave us be weren't going to work, I got much bolder, saying something close to:  "Frankie, would you just f*** right off"!!!

Now I'd done it, this was a challenge and Frank wasn't one to back down.  I have Irish descendants myself, and Annie was out with me dammit!!!  I know I said we weren't actually a couple or anything, in point of fact Annie had a bit of a reputation, she was considered by some to be the town bike.  Well it was my turn!!!

Once outside I took the full measure of my opponent.  He was maybe 6'2" and a roofer by trade, probably about 210 pounds of solid construction working muscle.  I had my 5'11 inches of 190 pound office working muscle to do battle with. 

In short, I was dead. 

Too add to the physical disadvantage I was at, Frankie I later learned, had only just got out of jail.  Realizing I had zero chance of winning this fight, but equally realizing there was no way to back down, I threw myself at him and actually managed to get him down on the ground in a headlock.  I believe I had the better of him for perhaps a nanosecond.  It wasn't long before I was on the ground getting the boots taken to me.  I use the word boots strictly as an expression, they were in fact running shoes, and thank God for that. 

The police came touring through the parking lot not long thereafter and were quick upon the scene.  They intervened, and with me being supported by two friends inquired: 

"What happened here"?

Now, like many people there have been times where, long after a particular incident, I think of the perfect thing to say, this was not one of those times.  Rather than coming out with something dumb I actually thought of the right thing to say on the spot.  I didn't want anything more to come of this, and I knew that Frankie had had his share of incidents with the local police.  I wasn't going to be a rat in other words.  My exchange with the cops was this:

"What happened here"?

"I fell".

Incredulous, "You fell"?!?!?

"Repeatedly".

The onlookers even chuckled.  A note to anyone who wants to come up with snappy retorts on the spot, get drunk and be suffering from a slight concussion.

That should be the end of the tale, but its not.  A week or so later I was having a drink after work in a bar when the waitress brought me another that I hadn`t ordered.  Telling her this she pointed over to the bar and told me it was from a guy sitting at the end. 

That guy?  Frankie the newf :-)

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While waiting for Harper to destroy the country...a bit about me

If you've only just stumbled upon this little corner of cyberspace, then you won't be aware of my political leanings.  You see, like many who observe the political arena, I have leanings.  Leanings however shouldn't be confused with conviction, leanings are just what they imply...leanings, inclinations, a tilt in one general direction.  This might sound wishy washy, far preferable for many is to fully embrace something, but when it comes to politics I prefer being wishy washy. 

I didn't vote for or write supportively of our Prime Minister during the election, but at the same time I didn't view the election of the Conservatives to a majority as an unmitigated disaster.  It might end up being a disaster, but if it does I think it will be of the mitigated variety...of course like many things that depends on one's point of view.

It has occurred to me though that Stephen Harper is upsetting many who campaigned against him and railed against the prospect of that which we now have, a Harper led majority government in Canada. 

How is Harper upsetting so many of those who proclaim themselves to be "progressive". 

Simple, he hasn't destroyed the country yet.  DAMN!!!  Canada's left is just itching to scream:

"TOLD YA SO, TOLD YA SO"!!! 

But so far Mr. Harper is frustrating the bejeebers out of them.  He could at least toss the naysayers a bone, a morsel....something.  Outlaw public health care, jail single mothers, make Christianity the new state religion.  But alas nothing, just the usual differences on matters of policy and the nuance of general legislative direction.

In an effort to fill this void for the anti-Harper camp I've decided to write about a subject close to my heart. One with which I am neither wishy nor washy.  Me!!!  When it comes to yours truly, I don't have leanings, I am a complete and full convert.  

Regular readers already know I'm in the Canadian Forces, my element is Land.  For those uninitiated in Canadian military speak, that means I'm in the Canadian Army.  I joined at the advanced age of 43 as a buck private recruit and I am currently on a training course for my chosen trade, communications.

I'm not alone being a middle aged member who only recently joined up, but I am in a decided minority.  There are 24 of us on my course and I am the oldest with the average age being somewhere around 25, remove my age from the equation and that average drops to 20. 

Ahhhhh, the army.  Up at 5am, going for a morning 5k jog with a bunch of kids, half of whom don't even need to shave.  Its great!!!  The best part is learning, when you stop learning new things you start to die...well I've got lots more life left in me because I love learning. 

The worst part?  That's easy inspections.  I wasn't aware of it, but apparently the success or failure of a military operation is based on the ability of members to properly fold underwear.  Everything laid out the same as everyone else and in the exact same place, attention to detail, got it.  I'm contemplating putting a fluorescent yellow soap dish in my top drawer, a bit of colour for an upcoming inspection...I'll let you know how that goes.  I might not be able to type if  I do it, it depends on how many push ups a colourful display earns  me.

On balance though the past year has been great and I'm looking forward to finishing my course and being posted to a unit.  I'm excited at the possibility of getting the chance to do a tour in Afghanistan before Canada fully withdraws in 2014.

I'll still be writing here so do check back.  Yes the housing market in Canada is going to get its butt kicked thanks  to all the no money down 35/40 year sub prime mortgages.  Prime Minister Harper will continue his march along the tightrope that balances him between his neo-conservative Christian right base and the far larger progressive population.  But in between polarizing issues I'll share a bit of how my life is unfolding.

One last thing.  If you enjoyed reading and have 2 seconds could you scroll just a little further down to the button that reads Candian Blogosphere and give it a click.  Yes I like myself, but confirmation is always appreciated.  All you have to do is click one green button after that to vote for this blog.  Thanks to those who take the time.

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Sure hope God doesn't mess up my camping plans..

By now everyone knows that the world is supposed to be ending today, bummer.  Its on billboards, in the paper and all over the news.  I just checked and someone won $35 million last night on LottoMax.  Boy wouldn't that be a kick in the groin, becoming a millionaire and then having the world end before you could even cash in.

I realize many people are busy getting ready for doom and destruction so let me be the first to tell everyone to relax, the world will not end today.  Nobody is getting beamed up to heaven, and there's not going to be a massive earthquake for those of us left behind to contend with.

If you're cleaning the house so it'll look good when Jebus pops in, chill. 

Why am I so sure?  Divine revelation my friends, well, that isn't quite true.  I couldn't get hold of the Supreme being but I did contact heaven's press secretary.  What was revealed was more like a press release than a burning bush.  Here's what it said.

"It has been widely reported that God has ordained May 21, 2011 as the end of times.  Please be advised there are no events scheduled for that day.  God does not in fact own a calendar, thus any attempt to pinpoint a date is pointless at best.  There are currently no plans to end the world, however God does reserve the right to rain down hell fire at some future date if so desired.  Please refrain from inundating our offices with further requests for end time information.  If a decision is made to terminate human existence God will notify followers via twitter"

So relax everyone and enjoy the fireworks tomorrow.    

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Canadian Soapbox Exclusive - Jack Layton hit a girl in kindergarten

Jack Layton is alleged to have hit a girl when he was in pre-school back in 1955. 

A now retired kindergarten teacher has made startling allegations against NDP leader Jack Layton.  The stunning revelation about the current leader of the New Democratic Party comes days before the federal election, at a time when his popularity is reaching new heights with his New Democratic Party threatening to topple the Stephen Harper led Conservative government.

The former educator, speaking on condition of anonymity, contacted Canadian Soapbox about the incident which occurred in 1955 when Mr. Layton was 5 years of age. 

"At the time I didn't think anything of it, until recently I'd actually forgotten it", the now 92 year teacher said.  "But then I kept seeing little Jackie in the news and I started going through my old files".

Those files reveal a report dated  September 27, 1955 which outlines the incident.  Canadian Soapbox has received permission to make a copy of the incident report, which says in part:

2:00 PM  Jackie Layton got into an argument with Jane Wilson over an orange crayon just after nap time.  Jackie said Jane had stolen it from his box and rather than notifying the teacher he punched Jane in the arm causing her to cry out and bite him. 

Olivia Chow, Layton's wife, denied her husband had done anything wrong in an e-mail statement late Friday night.

"Fifty six years ago, my husband got into an argument over an orange crayon.  He used to colour regularly and orange is his favourite colour, I don't believe he did anything wrong". 

Asked why she waited so long to come forward with this news Layton's former teacher said she was surprised the story hasn't already been made public.  "I thought this would have come out. This thing within class and by other teachers was so well known."

Jack Layton was warned of the dangers of resorting to violence to resolve conflicts after school that day.  "He came to school on  a bicycle. I escorted him outside and he went away on his bike."

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Advice to help Harper stem the Orange tide....

Jack Layton is cool, and Stephen Harper is...well, he's Stephen Harper. 

I'm fearful that if the Conservatives squeak out a narrow minority we might just see this headline in a couple of weeks: 

PM prorogues parliament permanently

How's that for alliteration?

Harper already suspended our democracy twice, its worked before it could work again.  In an effort to avoid that eventuality, and in the name of Canadian unity, I thought I'd put my political skills to the test in offering some advice to Dear Leader and his Conservative spin doctors.

Ten Suggestions to boost Harper's falling support:

10.  Start using a cane.

9.  Go get a prostrate exam.

8.  Grow a 'stache

7.  Promise to return the government to its rightful owners by switching back to Government of Canada from the Harper Government.

6.  Answer 5 questions instead of just 4 when on the stump....it'll show Canadians how flexible you are.

5.  If you're bald, be proud.

4.  Learn how to really smile, not the smug 'I know more than you' smirk. 

3.  Show you're human by saying sorry about blowing $2 million on the building of a fake lake.

2.  Before hitting your talking points say..."When I'm Prime Minister"' 

And finally, the number one suggestion for Harper to boost his falling support.....

Threaten to show up at a piano lounge near voters' homes if they don't elect the Conservative ccandidate. 

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10 Reasons for wanting Jack Layton as Prime Minister

Top ten lists seem to be all the rage, back on March 5th I posted an annotated list of 10 reasons to vote for Harper's Conservatives, (all very tongue in cheek) and its been viewed close to 1,000 times in less than two months. 

So with that in mind here are 10 reasons for wanting Jack Layton as Canada's next Prime Minister.

10.  Iggy's eyebrows are too big and Harper is getting fat.  Vote for Jack, he's skinny and doesn't have bushy eyebrows.

9.   When ignorant Americans visit Canada with zero knowledge about our country we'll be able to honestly tell them...You don't know Jack.

8.  The janitorial staff at 24 Sussex Drive, the one's who clean the bathrooms...they'll be able to tell their friends that they do in fact know Jack shit. 

7.  Jack is using a cane, Winston Churchill used a cane.  Walking sticks are cool, everyone will be wanting one. 

6.  Foreigners will have no idea what we're talking about when we say that our Prime Minister is a "Dipper". 

5.  With Jack as PM every month will be Movember.

4.  The Bare Naked Ladies endorsed Jack when he ran for the NDP leadership.  I'd love to see a NY Times headline that says:  "Canada's new leader makes bare naked ladies happy". 

3.  Jack Layton's wife is a hot younger Asian lady.  Come on guys, you know that is just like...so cool.

2.  Quebecers like him, and everyone knows the French have style.

And the number one reason Canadians should have for wanting Jack Layton as Canada's next Prime Minister....

It will mean Stephen Harper can get on with his next career as a piano playing lounge singer.







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Stephen Harper Video - Why he won't debate Iggy

Conservative leader Stephen Harper has finally spoken up about why he doesn't want to go toe-to-toe with Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff.

 

 

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Coming soon, Harper's new ad

Cue Stephen Harper.. 

I'm Stephen Harper, my government runs this country.  I've spent my entire life here and I grew up very proud of my father who worked very hard as an accountant for Imperial Oil...uhm....Ignatieff's great  great grandfather sold opiuum to children.

Fade to Esso picture:

Stephen Harper's Night Before Christmas - A Holiday Poem

Last year at this time I did what many have done before me, I wrote a poem butchering the Christmas classic 'The Night Before Christmas", it was entitled 'The Porogued Night Before Christmas.

I think I have the makings of a tradition here, as I've done the same again with "Stephen Harper's Night Before Christmas". So without further adieu here it is, have a happy and safe holiday season and a peaceful 2011 all.


Stephen Harper's Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas in old Ottawa town
And Stephen was pouting and wearing a frown
Everyone was out for some holiday cheer
While Harper stayed back, plotting moves for next year

Minority minority, that's all I can get
I'm doing all that I can, racking up a huge debt

So Stephen sat, he stewed and he brooded
Over majority rule, that so for had eluded

And then in a flash an idea did spring forth
As Harper looked out and did turn his gaze north
Santa, Saint Nick, that gift giving fool
For Christmas I'll ask for majority rule

So Harper sat, with his pen at a table
And wrote Father Christmas, the best he was able:

Santa the gift that will most make me drool
Is a right wing majority so I can finally rule
I have to compromise, to discus, its no good
With most of the seats I could rule as I should

Big tax cuts for business, the one's that make money
No cash left for Health Care? Now that would be funny
Big planes and big guns, our Forces will need
Social spending programs? They slowly can bleed

I don't ask for much, Dear kindly old elf
I'm thinking of Canada, not of myself
Please grant my wish, for this gift and with haste
I've been PM too long, there's no time to waste

No sooner had Stephen put a stamp on his letter
When Santa showed up, this couldn't be better
You see Santa's alive, he isn't on ice
He always has an eye out, for naughty and nice

"Oh Stephen I'm sorry. Did old St Nick say
"That isn't a gift I can put in my sleigh
Beside on my list of good boys and of bad
The things you have done have not made me glad

You've lied and played meanly, much further I could go
But to be fair you're not bad, when on piano
But even if you never, ever, ever had lied
This is a choice, and Canadian voters decide

Do what you will, seek wedge issues and such
Do all that you can, I know you'll do much
Mud sling and smear, your team is much skilled
You have deep pockets, your war chest is filled

As for me, to the Pole I must hurry straight back
Good children need toys coming out of my sack
You won't see me again, but you may yet reach your goal
Oh I almost forgot, here's a big lump of coal".


Again, a happy and peaceful season all. See you in 2011.

Father Time at boot camp, entering week 10

Two and a half months I've been here, I arrived March 13th and if everything goes according to plan on the 18th of June I'll be done and on to my next posting. As time marches on the training gets tougher and tougher, but I'm holding strong and having made it this far I'm not going to stop. The CF does allow recruits to ask for a voluntary release after 5 weeks, but that isn't even on my radar, I just add it for those who might be curious.

I didn't realize I was claustrophobic until this past week when I had to crawl through a maze in a sewer pipe that was pitch black. Down on my hands and knees the darkness closed in on me and I had a panic attack. After screaming "I HAVE TO GET THE #### OUTTA HERE" I soon realized that with 20 guys behind me the only way out was forward, so moving as quick as I could I scurried ahead and jammed the butt end of my weapon into the ass of the guy in front of me. After pulling back my weapon he told me to keep my hand on his foot and he'd get me through...and he did. Canadians never fight alone, we hang tough together, the second time through I was fine.

Still more tests await me, field training comes in weeks 12 and 13 along with a week of sleep deprivation, but I took parental leave with both my kids so I'm sure I'll survive.

For any forty somethings thinking of joining up I'll offer some advice. Firstly get in shape before you get here, there's lots of running, lots of push ups and sit ups and lots of physical training. Those who don't meet the minimum physical standards on arriving are sent into training which lengthens the stay is this little corner of hell. Before joining I used to run 5k two or three times a week with plenty of sit ups and push ups. Two weeks back I managed 45 sit ups in one minute, not too shabby I think....the top guy in our section of 15 or so did 50, but he's only 19 or 20 years old.

Oh yeah, and be prepared to deal with the juvenile behaviour of "kids"...most of whom consider breaking up with a girlfriend in grade 10 to be their most stressing life experience. I can handle the stress of basic better than handling the stress of dealing with freaked out teenagers.

That's enough for now, thanks for reading and feel free to ask questions. I do check back from time to time and may add to this space on the holiday Monday.

Happy 30th Birthday to Hip Hop...damn I'm getting old

Hip hop, rap, house...hard to believe its been about 30 years. BBC is heralding this as the 30th anniversary of Hip Hop because it was 30 years ago when Rappers Delight by 'The Sugar Hill Gang' topped the charts.

You know you're getting old when the music you grew up qualifies as nostalgia. Enjoy the video, and just think...many of the people dancing are now collecting Old Age Security, and some are even grandparents.

Blogging Tories go hunting for the hundred acre wood...

At first I found it somewhat amusing, that some bloggingtories were fixated on finding out where the back drop for Michael Ignatieff's woodland commercial came from. Christian Conservative has taken it over the top, certain that Chief Water Buffalo Pubah Stephen Taylor has correctly identified the stretch of forest as being in Toronto's Cherry Beach.

Check the pictures yourself, (linked above) they look similar but I wouldn't bet on them being the same...not even close. Not that it matters, Harper's Conservatives have never let the truth get in the way of some good spin.

I've got an idea, put Finance Minister Jim Flaherty on the case. He won't be able to tell us where it is with any accuracy, but maybe he can provide a guess that will be within 5,000 km. He couldn't be any worse looking for a section of greenery than he is at provding financial projections...at least I hope not.

If you don't like the message, go after the messenger. And if that doesn't work? Uhm, look at the back drop.

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Conan's brilliant Gaddafi spoof....

FIXED LINK on Feb. 22/2010

I've been a bit too busy to blog of late, but couldn't resist the temptation to pass this little gem along. If you saw Muammar Gaddafi's rambling speech at the United Nations you'll appreciate this even more...his ranting reminded me of a late night coffee shop denizen.


Can you help?

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Canada's Best Political Blogs - My new aggregator

I've created a new blog aggregator which I've branded "Canada's Best Political Blogs". As regular readers will be aware, I like to take in varying viewpoints from the political blogosphere. There's no point reading only those who share one's partisan slant, not if you're seeking a deeper understanding of the political landscape in this country.

I only have seven blogs listed currently, but I expect that it will grow over time. For those who author a well written blog I invite you to hit the Add My Blog button so that I can review it. I don't promise inclusion, but I won't exlude blogs based on partisan leanings, already I've got Liberals and Tories and Dippers, oh my. The description says:

"The best of Canadian Political Blogs. Opinion and commentary from a variety of sources, well written and representing the full spectrum of political thought".

Of course this blog is included...and measuring it up against the others I've already added, well consider this the minimum standard.

Bloggers who have their site added are welcome to add this widget:

member of

Canada's Best Political Blogs

But its not a requirement.

Thanks to you Canadian Soapbox is now listed in the Top 3 at Canadian Blogosphere. To help this blog climb even higher click on their icon, then hit the green button to vote - limit 1 vote per day per IP - thank you.

The Ultimate Canadian Guy Song...Pay Attention Ladies

Sometimes this blog, like most of the political variety, can get far too serious. Every now and again a person needs a break, and music can be a great tonic. With that in mind here's a favourite little ditty that I came across about a year ago.



Talk about the ultimate male bonding experience. What could be better than mud, machinery and muscle? Women seeking to understand the male mind would do well to pay extra attention, note taking might be in order.

Get a bunch of guys together with a mutual problem and the experience can be heart warming, just don't expect a lot of communication. We love getting dirty and trying to fix things, success is nice but it isn't essential. Guys, we don't get emotional, we might get angry or exasperated...but there's not gonna be a lot of talking going on.

Notice all the guys pulling up in their trucks...one comes by with two men and a woman. They don't help out, but the guys probably would have...if there weren't a lady present. I bet they were dying to get in there.

Okay...I'm running for cover now ;-)

Taking a break for my birthday...

July 24 is my day folks, and I'll be extending it through the weekend. Thanks to everyone who's been visiting and commenting, this has been a good month. It started poorly with a contract position I held coming to an end, but its ending with the start of a new contract back with the LCBO.

And who knows? Maybe now that management has reached a collective bargaining agreement with the union...perhaps they'll start hiring directly. If I was to be offered a full time and permanent position, I might have a decision to make. I'm leaning strongly toward making a radical change in my life, regardless of what happens with me at the LCBO.

I'll be back posting again next week as a 43 year old, so please come back often.

Thanks to you Canadian Soapbox is now listed in the Top Ten at Canadian Blogosphere. To help this blog climb even higher click on their icon, then hit the green button to vote - limit 1 vote per day per IP - thank you.