Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas From Canadian Soapbox

Tis the day before Christmas, and in keeping with the spirit of the season, please accept my wishes for a happy and joyous Yule, and a peaceful new year. With a troubled economy facing us, here's hoping many will come to find pleasure in simple pursuits...and that those who do struggle, that they will be able to draw strength from friends and family.

This blog isn't yet a month old, so I don't know how many people are actually reading this...hi to all 4 or 5 of you. In the salad days of teenage youth I fancied myself a fair poet, so allow me to be the millionth or so writer to butcher that Christmas classic,
'The Night Before Christmas' in a CanadianSoapbox vein.

The Prorogued Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, And on Parliament Hill

No one was stirring, Or penning a bill
The House was shut down, Or prorogued if you care
A vote of non-confidence, Hung in the air

And Senators too, All snuggled up tight
Eighteen new members, Not from left but from right
And Iggy and Jack, And that Bloc guy Gilles too
Sticking out tongues at PM, You know who

While out on the internet, Fingers did madly clack
Bloggers and columnists, On the attack
And readers and posters, On bull boards galore
Did all join in, For a loud mighty roar

‘Three stooges, usurpers, You gang on the left
You will not succeed, Your justification’s bereft’
‘Oh shut up dumb Tories’, The lefties did vent
'You don’t speak for all, Just thirty eight per cent'

Amid all the yelling, And shouting so loud
Came a jolly old elf, Who soon settled the crowd
‘Calm down and talk nice’, Did old Santa Claus say
'Or no one gets presents, Coming out of my sleigh'

So the crowd settled down, For they knew they’d been bad
And Old Saint Nick smiled, For the peace made him glad
‘C’mon you’re Canuks, And everyone knows
Canadians only get mad, When it snows’.

And so with the people, All nice and forgiving
Saint Nick called the leaders, For this was their living
‘I have presents for all, But first to you four
I’ll hand out some coal, You deserve nothing more'

'These people this crowd here, They voted you in
The way you’re behaving, Is truly a sin
You must work together, Compromise and be kind
Having to vote every year, It's a grind'

Then from way in the rear, Did a snowball appear
And whistled and flew, Hitting St. Nick’s left ear
“Who threw that, own up now”? Did Old Santa say
But the people looked down, To the side or away

“St. Nick’s with the Tories”!!! A voice did shout out
“He won’t let the coalition team, Throw them out”!
“No, he’s a Leftie”!!! Did another retort
“He’s giving out freebies, He’s a communist sort”!!!

And how did old Santa, React to all this
The old elf bent over, Showing his ass for to kiss

“I’ve had it with you, I will never come back”
“No presents for you, I’m no political hack”

He jumped on his sleigh, And his reindeer took off
And as he departed, I did hear him scoff
“I’ve had it with Ottawa, Too loud and too raucous"
“If you come to the Pole, You can sit on MY caucus”.

Merry Christmas all - Gordie Canuk

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