You Will Be Assimilated - Tweet Tweet

I'm guessing that most people reading a blog already know about twitter.com, the on-line service that let's people announce what they're doing with "tweets", messages up to 140 characters in length. Barack Obama tweeted all through the U.S. Presidential elections and has over 516,000 followers , Michael Ignatieff tweets to his 4,435 twitter fans...even Ashton Kutcher tweets, posting pictures of wife Demi Moore's lovely backside.

I think I first heard about twitter during the October election here in Canada, but didn't give it much thought. I'm already on Facebook, and figured it was basically the same thing as their status updates. Hence the reason I was surprised to read today that Twitter's user base expanded from 6 million to 10 million in just the last month.

I'm 42 and have finally come to the conclusion that I am old. Sure I'm blogging, but dammit I strive to spell things properly and fret over mundane matters like syntax. Hell, I hardly even swear! Incidentally, hell doesn't count as profanity in my book, how could it when it's certain to be my future address. The blackberry revolution has passed me by, which is something I'm increasingly grateful for.

What good is twitter to a Luddite like me? I don't have a handheld device like a blackberry, so I can't announce to the world when I'm heading to the can. This is actually a good thing, as you get older time can be a precious commodity...especially with respect to certain bodily functions. I'm not about to log-on to a computer when the urge to make toast and coffee hits me. There's probably a way I could tweet using my cell phone, but someone would have to explain it to me.

What I find curious in all this is how young people seem very concerned about civil liberties on the one hand, while jumping on every new technology no matter how Big Brotherish it may seem. Back around 2001 or 2002 I read about a a company called ADS. They created a technology called Verichip, a microchip designed to be implanted into a child's arm. The idea was to be able to track your precious little treasure with GPS technology, and never having to worry about locating a missing kid ever again. It never took off though, probably too Orwellian for most.

Now here we are just a few short years down the road and people are signing up to services like twitter in droves...posting their thoughts, activities, and whereabouts 24/7. Why bother with something as intrusive as an implanted chip when nobody goes anywhere without their cell phone or PDA? Everyone is joining the collective consciousness via new technologies, with many calling it addictive.

I can understand the voyeuristic attraction in following a political figure or a celebrity...that's part of human nature. But am I really that interested in knowing every boring detail of my friends' lives? A celebrity broadcasting his or her 'tweets' to adoring fans worldwide? Okay, that makes sense. But does anyone really care that I'm about to go and make myself a cup of coffee and toast a bagel?

If you do care, you can follow me: canukgord on twitter. I only have 2 followers and I'm so lonely. Yeah I know all that stuff I said about Orwell and 1984, but at the end of the day I guess I'm just like a lot of other people out there, an attention seeking cyberslut. Besides, maybe I can use it to drive more traffic to my blog.

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The World Has Gone Crazy...I'm Going To Work For AIG

Is it just me or does the entire world seemed warped beyond all recognition lately? I realize that there are always things happening that don't make a lot of sense, its just that now things seem even more insane than usual. I started this blog back at the end of November for that exact reason.

You'll recall back then that Stephen Harper was busy telling Canadians that there was an attempt being made to overthrow the government. Of course the "coup d'etat" to which he was referring involved elected members of parliament from the other three parties...in other words, our government was overthrowing our government. We have a PM who equates our House of Commons to the Electoral College in the United States, and as such he thinks Canadians voted for him as Prime Minister. Sad that the leader of the party currently heading the government of Canada doesn't understand the simple basics about our democracy. About the only thing that makes sense is that many brain dead Tory supporters don't understand it any better.

That was just the start of the silliness unfortunately. Our finance minister finally crawled out from under the rock he must have been living under for the past 6 months and realized Canada was not only heading for recession, in fact we're in one. Michael Ignatieff proclaimed himself as Canada's probation officer, pledging to keep the Harper government on a short leash...but really he was just kidding. After insisting the government provide details about how it was planning to spend a $3 billion dollar "slush fund" left over from the last budget, he has since folded faster than a riverboat gambler holding a 7 high.

Now we have British MP George Galloway being told he won't be permitted to speak in Canada, a decision our heritage minister Jason Kenny says he won't interfere with. It seems Galloway made the mistake of donating ambulances and medical supplies to Palestinians living in Gaza. Gaza as most know is ruled by Hamas, so the brainiacs at the Canadian Border Services Agency decided to bar him on the basis that Hamas is listed as a terrorist organization. Hello!!! Hamas is the elected and governing authority in the Gaza territory. Does Kenny think Hamas is going to start launching rocket propelled ambulances now?

The more logical reason for barring Galloway is that he is planning to embarrass the Harper government by speaking out against our mission in Afghanistan. What's the big deal? Harper already embarrassed himself by proclaiming the war un-winnable. Does that mean we're leaving? Of course not, that would make sense. Instead we're told we need to change the definition of winning. That way when our brave soldiers continue to make their way down the 401, (appropriately called the Hi-Way of Heroes) with flags draped over their coffins, we can point to the "victory" we're achieving on the other side of the world...to make the ultimate sacrifice of our best citizens somehow seem worthwhile. Guess what Maple Leaf fans, if Stephen Harper was running the Leafs we'd all be celebrating another winning season!

And if that's not enough to leave this blogger pulling out what's left of his hair, then we have this whole global credit crisis going on.

Companies like AIG (among many others) engaged in financial transactions which were beyond ludicrous. Not only were financial institutions providing mortgage funding based on NINJA qualifications (No Income, No Job, No Assets) they then turned around and started inventing complex schemes to have this toxic debt rated "investment grade". That allowed them to peddle these toxic "assets" to pension funds and other institutional investors. The result? The near collapse of the entire global financial system.

And what's happening to the individuals found responsible for these larcenous activities? What is the punishment for bankrupting the companies for which they work? How many years will they spend in jail for decimating the retirement plans of millions? How heavy are the fines being levied for bringing the global financial system to the brink of collapse?

Punishment? Fines? Imprisonment? Pfffffffft, they're getting bonuses in the millions of dollars. The U.S. government is currently engaged in spending of Biblical proportions to keep companies like AIG afloat. But don't you worry, those responsible aren't getting off scott free. Oh no! Not by a long shot. The U.S. Congress is enacting legislation to tax back 90% of the bonus money these crooks will be receiving. So instead of getting, say a $2.5 million bonus, instead that amount will be pared all the way down to $250,000. That'll teach them for destroying the lives of ordinary hard working people...just see how long a quarter million lasts!!!

Of course these bonuses are needed, because well...they're retention bonuses. I mean these guys who seemingly did everything in their power to wreck the world's economy, well...We sure wouldn't want them quitting now would we?

I guess I'm just out of touch. I figure that if I were to engage in transactions which threatened the very survival of the company I worked for, I don't know...I somehow think I'd probably get fired. Of course destroying one company is small potatoes, these guys were building houses of cards supporting the worldwide economy. Maybe I can get a job at AIG? I'd probably get fired for being responsible.

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Fox Talk Show Ridicules Canada's Afghan War Effort...

I just had the misfortune of watching a youtube video on a Fox talk show called "Red Eye". In this snippet they use Canada's decision to withdraw from Afghanistan in 2011 as a springboard to belittle not only our efforts in that country, but also to belittle the very lives of the 116 Canadians who have died fighting in this conflict.

I've often wondered how seemingly educated and advanced countries like America and Canada can have citizens so easily duped into believing thinly veiled propaganda such as the so called justifications for our invasion of Afghanistan. After watching this video however, its obvious I'm giving our societies far too much credit.

For those who believe we're really there for humanitarian reasons and to prevent the spread of Islamic terrorism, you'll lap this up. In fact you may want to start spouting off on world issues at the local trailer park, I hear Fox is looking for more on air talent to provide "funny" commentary on other serious issues.

Fox...providing brain dead hicks with news, commentary and new careers. Ugh.

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Time To Declare Muslims Second Class Citizens

Canada proudly proclaims itself to be a country which follows the 'Rule of Law'. What does that mean exactly? How does Canada define the "rule of law"? Our own Parliamentary Website defines it as meaning that all are subject to the law, with no one...regardless of power, wealth or position, being beyond its reach. It goes on to say that the courts serve as protection for citizens in ensuring that various authorities are not allowed to operate above the law. In fact the same Parliamentary website contains these sage words:

"If anyone were above the law, none of our liberties would be safe".

In 1981 Canada proclaimed our Charter of Rights and Freedoms, assuring citizens access to due process. According to the Charter, an individual is protected against being detained without being informed of the specific offence. It goes further in guaranteeing that individuals are to be tried 'within a reasonable time'. Our Charter precludes the state from discriminating against individuals on the basis of race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age, or mental or physical disability. It all sounds so wonderful.

In short our democracy makes it unlawful to detain any person without providing legal justification and it ensures the accused the right to an impartial tribunal wherein the individual is allowed to confront the evidence against him or her. These are fundamental rights celebrated throughout much of the civilized world, with principles such as Habeas Corpus at the very heart of so called western democracy.

And yet, in spite of all these high minded ideals, for Muslims they are merely empty words on parchment. How can Canada proclaim itself a nation of law, when it violates those very same laws with some adherents of the religion that is Islam?

Everyone knows the story of Omar Kadar, the 15 year old who was taken to Afghanistan by his father to fight against the U.S. led invasion of that country. The allegation against this child soldier is that during a battle with American forces he threw a hand grenade which resulted in the death of a U.S. serviceman. Since that time he has been held in Guantanamo Bay as an enemy combatant, and is still awaiting trial. Some excuse this abhorrent disregard for western principles of law by pointing out that Canada must respect American jurisdiction in this matter.

But why should we protest at all when our own justice system ignores the foundations of our legal system here within our own borders? Mahmoud Jaballah is among many Muslims in this country who has been detained without charges being laid for several years. It is alleged that Mr. Jaballah is a senior member of a terrorist group, al-Jihad, an allegation he apparently denies. He has been held since 2001 and is still waiting for the authorities to show any evidence to back up their allegations.

Another Muslim accused of terrorist connections, Mohammad Mahjoub, recently decided to return to jail...rather than continue living with onerous bail conditions. Conditions which saw his children's new Wi game confiscated because it could be hooked up to the Internet. Under what authority is this man being held? He is held by the power of a "National Security Certificate", a legal instrument our own Supreme Court declared unconstitutional in 2007.

So, how can Canadians continue to proclaim ourselves as a nation which observes the rule of law, and yet allow our Charter of Rights and Freedoms to be used as toilet paper by the authorities?
Obviously our elected officials have no interest in protecting our Charter, which shames all Canadians and makes us no better than so many of the countries we chide for human rights abuses. Rather than endure ridicule for our obvious hypocrisy I have a modest suggestion to get us out of this legal conundrum.

We can once again proclaim Canada a nation that upholds the rule of law by simply changing our legislation. Specifically we can make legal our currently illegal treatment of certain Muslims by depriving them of their Charter Rights by virtue of their religion. It is not without precedent, Canada already distinguishes between the rights of Aboriginal peoples and everyone else, we merely need to create another class of citizenship for members of the Islamic faith.

We need not stop with stripping Muslims of their Charter and Constitutional rights, Canada could go even further. The next logical step would be to legislate against Muslims being allowed to hold jobs in our civil service. Later we could restrict or limit participation in our system of education and/or deny access to our universities. To safeguard against legal challenges Muslims could be prevented from working in the legal profession.

Obviously we would need legislation which would define what it is to be Muslim. It would probably be best to go back to each individual's grandparents, establishing Muslims as those who have 3 or 4 Islamic grandparents. Those with just 1 or 2 could be determined as half Muslim, and have rights assigned accordingly.

I realize there are many bleeding hearts who will decry these suggestions, proclaiming that all individuals are equal before the law. But it is obvious that Canada long ago abandoned these principles, and along with them the notion that we are a nation of laws. By changing the laws we would at least provide ourselves with ammunition to confront those who accuse our nation of ignoring our own constitution and legal precepts.

Now...I will ask that you please excuse this humble blogger. I have an appointment with a doctor, my tongue has become so firmly embedded in my cheek that I require emergency medical attention.

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